Faith, Hope, and Love
Idoubt if it has been noticeable by anyone other than me, but my blog posts havebeen few and far between. One excuse isthe fact I’m working on a book- Lose the Beige: A “Coloring” Book for Living Outside the Lines. More on that in another post. My other excuse is creative and spiritualdepletion.
I’m beginning to wonder if there is some astrological configuration going on that is making my world and those of several friends a little crazier. I actually saw on Facebook a reference to the fact that on October 3d Pluto will no longer be in a retrograde mode (which I think means going backwards) and therefore sanity will reign supreme again. Considering this has been a dark summer for me, I looked up the meaning of this astrological phenomenon. Apparently, Pluto in retrograde means coming face to face with deeper, sometimes darker, inner truths. I thought the darkness was obscuring my truths not forcing me to face them.
Iegotistically assumed I was the Lone Ranger undergoing fits and starts of anxiety. But then in a rare moment of emotional candorI blurted out to a friend I felt like I had lost my faith. Our lunch was impromptu as was my outburst,and I actually wondered later if providence had interceded, guiding me to thisadmission. “I feel the same way”,Cathleen confessed. For the past year,she has assumed the post of interim director for a major non-profit undergoinga myriad of maladies. “I’m 70 years oldand, while I like the money coming in, I have absolutely no time formyself. I’m surrounded by people andcircumstances requiring my undivided attention.”
Nottwo days later a close friend asked me if I noticed how much weight she hadlost. Even at 72, Sharon has a hot bodyand always looks slender, so no, I hadn’t noticed. “I can’t eat. Even on the cruise we just took I had no appetite to speak of. That never happens to me,” she wailed. She admitted to anxiety about family membersand accumulated stress from four years of post-career challenges faced by herhusband.
Barelythree days later, another long time friend, someone I ordinarily consider anoptimist, confessed to bouts of depression. The reason? Disabling health issues interfering with travel and even daily routineactivities.
Isthis an epidemic, I wondered. I remembera line from the Big Chill, one of my favorite movies, “Where did Alex’s hopego?” I’m really not overly religious butI do recall a line from Corinthians in the New Testament: “Three things willlast forever...faith, hope, and love.” I’mthinking all the loving we have been offering others is resulting in thedissipation of the faith and hope parts of ourselves.
Bitby bit, drama upon drama, and need by need, everything I’ve ever done for self-nourishmenthas eroded. For years I’ve carved outsacred time in my mornings, preserving it for reading, journal writing, or someother method of meditation. Creativity,a long time outlet for stress has somehow disappeared from my radar. Thus, I’ve not been writing and blogging,great coping techniques for stress and depression.
Nottwo days after my lunch with Cathleen a book of daily meditations arrived onthe wings of Amazon. I’m committing toreading the pages of the day rather than defaulting to my Facebook app in themornings. I’m also happy to say mylaptop is back where it is supposed to be (in my lap) writing this blog to theaccompaniment of a fierce ocean and a 72 degree breeze wafting through the railingsof the balcony where I sit in a lounge chair, feet perched on its sisterottoman. (The glass of wine next to me is also providing some therapy as well). I also signed up for something called a“Succulent Pumpkin Centerpiece” workshop to learn how to make a funThanksgiving table decoration. I hesitated to even enroll in the classbegrudging the time it would take away from other work activities, but now I’mexcitedly searching for a “Cinderella a/k/a Fairytale” pumpkin to serve as thecarriage for my succulent centerpiece.
What about you? Are you finding yourself stuck too? Let me know or share your coping techniques.
