“Kindness and Grace as Spiritual WD-40”

I’m a fan of the writer, Anne Lamott.  Her writing style inspires my own as she infuses her words with candor, clarity, and humor.  Each year just prior to New Year’s Day she publishes an anti-diet diatribe.  One of her admonitions this year flagged my attention: 

“Can you put away your tight pants, the ones with the punishing waistband? Wear forgiving pants! The world is too hard as it is without letting your pants have an opinion on how you are doing…I hate to say it, but only profound self-love will work, union with that scared breath-holding self, and not a diet that forbids apples or avocados. Horribly, but as usual, only kindness and grace, which is spiritual WD-40, can save us.”

What a concept. Extending kindness and grace to ourselves. That practice doesn’t seem to be in my psychic pantry. What about you? I know I allow anxiety and over-responsibility to dictate too much of my inner life.  I enrolled in an end-of-the-year yoga class this week wherein the instructor asked, “What is it that is causing you to hold your breath?” I mulled over this question while my body was teetering in a Warrior Three yoga posture. The instructor’s words reminded me of Anne Lamott’s, namely, the “union with that scared breath-holding self” part of her discourse.  While her recommendation was related to dieting, I certainly think it can be applied to all other aspects of our sometimes-scary lives.

My cute husband

I experienced a few scary breath-holding episodes in 2024. Chief among them was/is the state of my husband’s health which was thrown into question when we received disturbing results from an MRI conducted in February. The scan showed a proliferation of neuroendocrine tumors in his abdominal region. A radiology oncologist prescribed four radiation infusions over an eight-month period. Poor Jim was the proverbial pariah sequestered in two designated rooms so I and others would not be contaminated by his radioactivity. Even our labradoodle was banned from contact, a mandate she clearly did not understand. A subsequent scan conducted a week ago showed sketchy results.  A visit to the doctor next week will probably be more revealing than just our visit to Jim’s medical portal. In the meantime, I’m holding my breath.

The Yellow brick road of life (I saw Wicked during Thanksgiving week, so the reference is fresh) is circuitous. Good stuff, hard stuff, fun stuff as we march toward some elusive state of heaven.  This makes me think of the often-used motivating wisdom- “It’s the journey not the destination.”  While our 2024 journey has indeed included anxiety, it has also included so much joy.

Cresting toward 2024 my daughter, Tracy, became engaged on Christmas Day - in my living room.

Christmas Morning 2023

 Apparently, there is a video in the cyber universe filled with screams coming from Tracy and me. So, Christmas morning launched an eight-month journey of wedding planning and dress shopping for the bride-to-be and her hard-to-fit mother. And it was fun.  Tracy and I didn’t take this privilege for granted. Walker’s Bluff Winery in Southern Illinois played host to this joyous affair on August 31, 2024. Jim and I rented a VRBO in Marion, Illinois for the month of August to help with wedding details. It was glorious being away from the 98 °, 98% humidity days of Florida. We hiked in the Shawnee National Forrest, hosted a bridal shower, assembled gift bags, and ran errands for the bride-to-be. Family and friends have told me Tracy’s wedding was one of the happiest they had ever attended.  I’m choosing to believe them because my joy beamed so brightly, I could have guided ships to safety on a rocky coastline.

This image is my computer screen saver and iphone wallpaper

Life is like that, offering meaning, love, and laughter, with one hand and challenges, loneliness, and anxiety with the other.  So maybe the lesson for 2025 is to pause and ponder the steppingstones, the colors, the foliage, and the folks on and around the yellow brick road of life.

Happy New Year. May this be the year you extend to yourself the same level of grace and kindness you reserve for others.