Perfection is the Enemy of Good Enough
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I’ve been thinking about one of the maxims in the BBLB (Be Brave. Lose the Beige!) Manual of Maxims appended to the conclusion of my book. #13 from this list reads, “Be kind and patient with yourself during major changes.” Why am I thinking about this random maxim? Because I spent the weekend yelling at myself for drinking too much wine throughout the previous week. My family business is politics, and I confess to some disappointment following the election results. I doubt I was alone in this self-medication strategy but, nevertheless, I was beating myself up for this perceived personality flaw.
Chardonay is my weakness
I remember reading a study of 2000 women conducted by Weight Watchers a few years ago which determined that the average woman (hate the term average woman but that is how the study characterized us) criticizes herself eight times a day, half admitting they start the assault before 9:30 in the morning. Topics for criticism? Weight and appearance lead the list, of course. But also perceived personality flaws, parenting regrets, and career choices. Do men engage in this same level of self-criticism? Apparently not so much. The National Institute of Health conducted a study about gender differences in self-estimated intelligence. And the finding? Men report higher estimates of self-intelligence than do women. There is even a term for this behavior: the male hubris, female humility effect.
Wow and wow! I tend to go down research rabbit holes in pursuit of studies and statistics focusing on behavioral issues. I’m so tempted to search for more information, asking Google, et al, questions such as, “Is this self-deprecating tendency in our DNA or did our parents/teachers/mentors foist this upon girls? What do you think?
Ok, back to my oenophilia.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
My resolution for the looming new year is to stop yelling at myself about my perceived character flaws. If we turn the flaw sideways, perhaps it’s actually an asset. (I know, I know, recent medical studies have determined that alcohol in any form is unhealthy. Damn, damn, damn.) But the reason for my latest bout of oenophilia is that I’m worried about the futures of my children and grandchildren in light of the changed political landscape. Whether you agree or disagree with my political proclivities, empathy is a good quality. Connection with and to other living beings is probably the meaning of life. So, do me a favor. The next time you engage in harsh self-criticism, try identifying the root cause. Twist and turn it like you might a Rubik’s Cube, evaluating it from a different angle. You might just surprise yourself and discover you are a better person than you give yourself credit for.
