What is Your Word?

Choose a word that reflects what matters to you.

My husband and I went to hear Arthur Brooks (Atlantic Monthly columnist/Harvard Kennedy School professor, (too many other credentials to cite here) at the Dr. Phillips’s Performing Arts Center recently. The topic of his very engaging speech was the “the science of happiness” based upon Building the Life you Want, the book he wrote in collaboration with Oprah Winfrey. 

I now know (but will I remember next week?) that the reptilian brain, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex are all parts of the brain that work together to control behavior and mental processes. The book offers tips and tools for emotional self-management (the jury is out in my house as to what “emotional self-management” means).  Drawing from his toolbox, Brooks posed a couple of thought-provoking questions. “Why am I alive?”  And “for what would you die today?” He admonished us to respond with just one word.  “And don’t default to your kids and/or life partner. This is about you. Your answers can help you find meaning and purpose in your life.”  While I’ve not pondered the second question, I’ve re-phrased the first.  “What really matters to me?” Jim, Rosie (labradoodle) and I sat outside on a beautiful 70-degree Sunday afternoon and mulled over this question.

February in Florida is a time to treasure

Given the beauty of the day and the fact I was spending unencumbered time with two of my loved ones, it was tempting to say, “these meaningful moments are what matter to me.” But I dug deeper and came up with my word – relevance.  I want the words I strive so hard to craft to be relevant for the people who read them; I want to be relevant to my grandchildren, spending time with them engaged in activities they care about.  If I do so, maybe just maybe they will want to spend time with me instead of just perfunctorily showing up on FaceTime or a call every couple of weeks; I want to be relevant to my adult kids, showing interest in their interests, being useful – helping with caregiving duties, doggie day care, and acting as their safe place as they navigate an increasingly scary world.

My husband’s word is “excellence” a word, that upon reflection, has guided his work as a researcher, social scientist, and statistician. His fifty + year career has not made him the richest of his colleagues but has garnered him respect for his integrity and the quality of his work.

So, friend, what is your word? What matters deeply to you? What gives your life purpose and meaning?  It’s never too late to discern what frames you.  Chew on these questions and post your responses here or email me at Liz@bebravelosethebeige.com.