Post Valentine’s Day Reflections

The day before Valentine’s Day I was a crazy person (my family and friends probably think this is a state in which I frequently find myself.) Ok, ok, I realize the term “crazy” is disrespectful and even unkind, so I’ll re-phrase. I was a frenzied person. Early mornings typically find my husband and I tending to our livestock as he has designated our four-month-old puppy. Rosie loves jumping into our bed and biting us with her needle-sharp canine teeth until we give up and get up. Arising is accompanied by incessant focus on puppy feeding (my husband had the bright idea of hand-feeding her, which has been a hard habit to break), puppy peeing, and puppy pooping, while hoping to get a cup of coffee down in between her demands. 

 Once her demands were assuaged, I started assembling tax documents for the accountant, trying valiantly to accurately answer the 108 questions on the ten+ page worksheet. This endeavor easily extracted two hours from my day.  Recognizing that my refrigerator was devoid of food I ventured out to forage for fresh fruit and vegetables at a produce market and to Fresh market for meats and other staples. “How did I become one of those people who finds it necessary to shop at three and four grocery stores for food for only two people?” I queried myself thinking back to one stop shopping at Publix for a family of five.

 Scattered throughout these domestic duties I was texting with a consultant who is updating my website. Technical stuff makes me anxious, and I was trying to be as responsive to Katy (a tech savant) as possible since I did not want that job to be foisted back on me. These frequent exchanges lasted from 7:30 a.m. until 9:00 that night (and well into the following day). Then, since my grocery store purchases provided us with a panoply of meats and vegetables, I decided to cook beef stew for our evening meal. Amid the chopping, sauteing, and simmering, I decided it would be the optimal time to book our August visit at our favorite VRBO in Southern Illinois. Once again, this on-line process took much more time and focus than anticipated. Since it was the day before Valentine’s Day, I decided to create a watercolor card for my husband.  This (very relaxing and fun) exercise took a couple of hours (interspersed between the aforementioned household tasks). 9:00 p.m. found me crawling into bed with my iPad for cherished game time- Wordle, quordle, crossword puzzle, solitaire. I was rudely awakened probably around 9:30 p.m. when said iPad fell on my face.  I was wiped.

 At one point during the day I was very cross with my husband who was unable to locate my Employer Identification Number (EIN) for my Be Brave. Lose the Beige business. Square Space, my website platform, was demanding this information in order for my tech consultant to complete her work on my website. Later, contemplating my grumpy over-reaction, I realized I needed him to be responsible for these kind of details in our lives as I am for so many other household tasks.

 This account of my not-so-interesting day, I’m quite certain, replicates many of your daily diaries. Women wear a lot of hats. It can feel like we are responsible for too many household jobs and duties. The danger of all this assumed responsibility, however, is resentment, which can easily drift toward martyrdom (not an attractive quality).  

 So, on a day that celebrates love, instead of shouldering too many tasks, duties, and responsibilities, let’s pause to ponder all the love and good stuff in our lives. I actually took time to do this and found love and appreciation for…

 1.   Rosie, our four-month-old puppy, who, while taxing, has filled my home with light, love, and joy.

2.   My daughter who is newly engaged to a wonderful man to whom she will be married later this year (thus the need for the VRBO rental in Southern Illinois).

3.   I received calls and cards from precious grandchildren who are still young enough to want to spend time with me.

4.   The fact I am fortunate enough to have a passion for writing and am expanding my BBLB business into a brand (thus the need for a tech consultant to update my website.)

5.   I’m lucky enough to have the financial resources to shop at multiple stores for food to nourish our bodies.

6.   My husband Jim who is my everyday Valentine. Friends have lost spouses and I’m reminded how special our time together is.

 So, ladies, take time to ponder the good stuff today.  It helps us remember why we do all the other stuff.  Happy Valentine’s Day